hotel room ftw
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
even my farts smell like vagina
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
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