member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
There's a pair of socks on the bar. No-one's questioned this.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
