THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
It's a lost cause. Soon she's gonna get naked, just let nature run its course
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Shame - the story of my life.
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