my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
Wait time out. Did I start last night with pants?
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
Randomize
