is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I'm currently eating a turkey dinner, listening to xplosive by dr. Dre, and drinking rum. Hispanic christmas dinners are the best.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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