i barfeds in our rink
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
He walked around my apt complex completely naked and started peeing in the maintenance because he thought it was the bathroom. So yeah, pretty drunk.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
Randomize
