this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
The taxi driver was cool until you left. He then started blasting enya and telling me I look like I need another line.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I'm promoting my liver to CEO of my body cause it clearly works harder than anything else.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
Btw, remind me to tell you about how I had to cancel my crazy wild sex plans with Will b/c my roommate came back from his trip after a day b/c Canada wouldn't let him in. Fucking cockblock.
Actually that's the whole story. You don't have to remind me.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
