i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
Just convinced airport security that im sober. All i do is win.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
he literally walked in took a shit and left ringing the 'great service' bell on the way out.
Randomize
