Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
I don't know..He walked out of your room with a kraft single..and blood on his shirt...He really wanted cheese.
Randomize
