if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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