Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
did i just pee glitter
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Randomize
