So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
hungover at the ER to get half my contact removed from behind my eye. Not the start to the weekend I was hopin for
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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