The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Doing lines of coke through pieces of licorice. Because I can
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I ACCIDENTALLY HOOKED UP WITH A GUY WHO HAS A NICHOLAS CAGE POSTER ABOVE HIS BED I CANT HANDLE LIFE.
The universe is either telling you 1. you make terrible decisions or 2. its time to let go of your hatred of Cage.
Woke up with a 6lb bucket of Redvines with a note that said "I'm sorry" care to explain?
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
