Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
I walked in on you rubbing your nose all over his face while straddling him and yelling "I'M SO SORRY!" repeatedly. I'd say you were in pretty good shape at that point in the night.
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
Randomize
