i jhust puked up my retainher.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
