I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
He kept falling asleep with the pizza in his hand. I woke him up and told him and he was shocked because he thought he ate it all. Then he would end up falling asleep and we'd repeat the whole process again.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
