I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I swear to god little potato creatures live inside Belvedere bottles and claw at your throat as you swallow shots.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
Threw up on break at work. That brings our collective tally to 9 times. We can never drink like that on a monday again
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
