so the guy behind me in court for my DUI hearing got a DUI on a lawnmower at 1AM...he is my new hero
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Should I feel bad that my boyfriend pays for my birth control and his friends get to reap the benefits?
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Randomize
