Are we in a gay sports bar?
So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
When you're as high as I am right now brushing your teeth is both magical and fucking terrifying
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