Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
just realized I'm too high to take the plastic off a slice of cheese....
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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