You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.�
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
Randomize
