Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
as a guy is it bad that even my mom called me easy?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
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