he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
