this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
Apparently I ran up to the group of cookie-cutter blonde chicks and screamed "Delta Gamma Nuuuuuuu!" really excitedly and tried to hug them and share fake sorority stories with them.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Also, full disclose I puked in a fruit barrel box
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
Randomize
