Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Please wake up and help me figure out how I woke up on the floor with my head under the couch
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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