Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(502): View more from Kentucky

So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(

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(914): View more from New York

he puts the penis in happiness.

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(913): View more from Kansas

ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?

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(845): View more from New York

I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring

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(920): View more from Wisconsin

and i looked up. we had an audience...

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(813): View more from Florida

yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing

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(918): View more from Oklahoma

On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.

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(949): View more from California

We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.

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(740): View more from Ohio

just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?

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