mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Randomize
