yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Shes sitting on the front porch puking in to the pumpkin she just carved...in the rain. I guess pumpkin spice tequila shots wasnt our best idea.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Your smile makes me feel like I'm frolicking through a field of gummy bears.
It's important to establish I slept with her BEFORE we officially became cousins-in-law.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
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