I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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