How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
Where is the hickey?
I woke up naked this morning and I found out that I thought I was Adam last night and Eve was my wife so I ran naked saying I was in the Garden of Eden and I could shit wherever I wanted.....too bad the garden was in my friends apt.......I spent the morning cleaning and have reached a new low
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
woke up in my one night stand's bed and barfed all over her floor. she came back from the bathroom, looked at the vomit, looked at me and said "normally i'd tell you to clean it and get the fuck out, but i remember the sex was good, so i'll let it go." Score.
Apparently riding the dog like its a small horse is frowned upon in this establishment
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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