There's a "art of the blow job" class in the city. We should go
Baby, I'm all set with that. That would be like trying to teach bruce lee how to kick someone in the head
I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
I'm now in all their contact lists as "Pee-Pee Hands"...
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
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