I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
Randomize