my facebook friend requests are always from girls of boyfriends i have fucked, facebook is the worst reminder of shame
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Sweet. Might not hurt to poop on the floor anyway.
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
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