It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I should be sponsored by Trojan
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
Just went to my first strip club and they had Fox News on. Conservative booty time.
Did we kick in my basement door last night?
Yes. I think you actually bought tennis shoes specifically for that application.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
