i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
I intend to get homeless drunk
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
got into a verbal altercation with Luke Harangoty last night over a table. Called him a cross-eyed fuck and got the table.
You called me last night and said you had a vision that a cat made you a sandwich. You were tripping way too hard
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
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