Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
It's like there's a party and my mouth and everyone's throwing up
She washed lettuce and peppers in the shower and proceeded to make a salad
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
