guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
CSI Miami is on and the guy is trying to save this woman who got shot. By stripping off his shirt & belt. THE WOMAN NEEDS YOUR PANTS OFF TOO
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
he had a cock ring. i orgasmed before he even put it in
Randomize
