The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Pretend you're in a taco. That always helps me sleep.
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
Randomize
