Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Coming to you live from the floor of my office..
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
Randomize
