I swear ... this hickey is a map to Amelia Earhart's whereabouts
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
Turns out floaties are a great thing after a couple bottles of vodka
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
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