You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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