Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(415): View more from California

I have had sex with more partners than how old he is.

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(571): View more from Virginia

Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.

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(404): View more from Georgia

I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.

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(601): View more from Mississippi

"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move

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(330): View more from Ohio

would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.

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(218): View more from Minnesota

Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.

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(209): View more from California

PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.

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(814): View more from Pennsylvania

Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?

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