my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
Like that girl needs to get her shit together. For her vagina's sake.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Last time I "ran into him" I ended up with the clap and had to explain why the ladder was missing from the garage.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
The school better be open next year. I’ve been FB stalking Dads of my incoming students and there’s serious DILFage in this class! Maybe 2020 will turn around!
It’s 2020. You’ll probably get knocked up. If you’re really lucky you’ll just get the clap
Randomize
