I look better un-naked...
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
you know who we are? We're the female white stoner version of Kenan and Kel.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Pi�atas plus fireworks don't mix well
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
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