Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
I just got while a charlie horse while orgasming...most confusing feeling ever...
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
