You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Redeem this text for a blowjob
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
How's work?
Spinning.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
I can't put those talents on a resume
When cunnilingus is one of the first 25 words you say to someone there's a problem
#reasonsyoushouldnthaveatinder
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
