they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
This show inspires me to have sex in space
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
