Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
