"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
