After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
Everytime I see a couple on campus walking and holding hands I just want to yell he's gonna lie!
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
Randomize
